Are you listening to your teen without any judgment?

So before I could take the first sip of my freshly steeped green tea infused with stevia, ginger and lemon, my 13-year old asks me if I could sit with her.

Curiously I left the tea in my zen room and sat down with her. Before she started I had to agree that I won’t turn Buddha on her (I guess she knows her father too well :))

She told me how it makes her frustrated that some of her team mates don’t give 100% when playing volleyball. She loves the game and wants everyone to be running, jumping and diving to get to the ball but they don’t.

Keeping my critique at bay and advisor monster inside I kept listening, only voicing my opinion when asked.

Finally I reminded her of a time when she was 5-6 years old and we put her in soccer but she didn’t play hard and eventually left the sport. At that time it wasn’t her cup of tea but had to play because WE put her in. Similarly, maybe SOMEONE put those kids in her volleyball team just to get the needed class credits.

She knew Buddha in me was on the rise but smiled and acknowledged that she can’t control others desire to fully participate rather she can enjoy her time when playing her part. She felt better that someone listened and I am proud that my teachings are working in my own family.

Open and clear communication without any judgment, advise when asked.

Reheating the tea was well worth the wait!