Q: How can I deal with difficult or angry people?
A: As an adult you can imagine how important this question is. From time to time we come across some individuals we just can’t stand and don’t know how to deal with them. Now imagine your teenager faced with the same dilemma. How your teenager deals with another person’s anger can make the difference between a rift in a relationship and a temporary setback.
Here are some tips to help your teenager:
- If you feel angry because of something this other person said to you, don’t fight back right away. Dealing anger with anger will only make the issue bigger. Give it some time to cool down. Count to 10 in your head and then respond calmly. If you are still feeling angry, walk away from the situation and resolve it later when you feel at ease.
- If someone is being difficult with you and hurts your feelings, it’s best to let them know right away instead of keeping it inside you. You may reply to them by simply saying, “What you just said to me was not kind. Please don’t talk to me like that.”
- Try to understand the other person’s feelings by putting yourself in their shoes and imagining what could be behind their rage? See if that person is hurting inside due to some personal problem. By showing them empathy you might even win their heart and diffuse the situation.
- Pick your fights wisely. Figure out if it is really necessary to get into an argument with that person. Will you gain anything from it or it will just waste your time and energy? Are you getting into this fight just to prove yourself? If that’s the case, leave that conversation because half an hour later it won’t matter anyway.
- Find out where do you stand when it comes to your own behavior. Are you polite and compassionate with others? Do you have your own anger toward others? Do you like to help others? Are you mean with your friends?
The truth of the matter is that you will only attract the kind of behavior you demonstrate with others.
Here is the link to 7 th self-sabotaging question on teenagers’ minds: How can I become more…
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Faisal Hameed Khattak